Trying Trochee!

Rather Trite Trochee

Tossing, tumbling, tearing, crumbling,

in high waves of surging foam.

seething, spraying waves below

seize the stick thrown from the cliffs.

Boiling water bubbles whitely

‘gainst the wall of grey cliff face,

beating, smashing, smoothing, sanding

until tranformed, it’s tossed ashore.

Gone its edges, roughened barkskin,

smooth to touch and now bleached pale,

shedding salt and sand, watery weight,(yuk)

lightened, rounded, new form made

driftwood, sculpted, curved with grace.

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One thought on “Trying Trochee!

  1. raefonb

    You know, your least poem tends to be better than many people’s best poems… There are still some great lines and images in this but I think it demonstrates how restrictive forms can sometimes have a negative impact on a poet’s style. At first I wasn’t sure of those alliterative lists (“Tossing, tumbling, tearing, crumbling”/”beating, smashing, smoothing, sanding”), but actually they create a varied pace for the poem that I think reflects the chaotic violence of waves smashing against rock pretty well. As always, I can’t judge the trochee stress element, but I imagine it’s on-point! 🙂

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    Reply

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